Monthly Archives: September 2019

Australian Politics

This Born-Again, No Plan Government

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Last year, and until the federal election this year, the Liberal National Coalition believed it was heading toward electoral oblivion, and some of the Government’s behaviour looked at best to be dodgy. They made sure they would reap the benefits of the last six years in power, I’m sure there was much shredding of documents, and many of them deserted the ship, entitlements intact.

As an example of their cynicism, and their outright perfidy, they stacked the Administrative Appeals Tribunal with time servers and Liberal mates, creating chaos for the incoming Labor Government. Of course the Labor Party lost, so all the rush was for nothing. They could have stacked it at will, drip fed over the next three years.

It is not possible to pinpoint why so many left, but it is reasonable to assume that the misery and the ignominy of opposition was not an attractive prospect; added to that, when one considers the quality of the company one would be forced to keep, in the meetings and the corridors even, who wouldn’t run for the exit?

The prospect of sitting in the opposition party room must have loomed as torture, like endlessly re-visiting gruesome family Christmases, with your worst relatives, and being forced to kiss Uncle Fester and Aunt Morticia, every week, until you feel like you have died and gone to hell.

So winning government again must have seemed like a surprise Christmas, or even a miracle, if you are inclined to believe in flying teapots, and fairies. No opposition hardships, and at least Tony Abbott was gone, although there are still plenty of his elderly altar-boys and girls still getting a run. The photograph of the team captures the “how did we get out of that one” spirit, and for a moment one can almost identify with them, happy and hopeful, perhaps still wanting to ‘do good’ for the community.

Fast forward to now, and Morrison is still being treated as a modern political master. He believes it too. He won the ‘unwinnable’ election. He lied and obfuscated, he misrepresented Labor’s policies, he hid his front bench, he played the ‘daggy dad’ way better than poor, awkward Bill Shorten, and he even pretended to show us his spiritual side, with a photo opportunity inside a church. He continues his ‘dissing’ attitude to legitimate questions, because he has no plan, except to stay in power.

We should recall, however, that the ‘mandate’ he insists on calling the narrow win, saw the Coalition increase their Parliamentary numbers by one seat, and the Opposition lost one seat. It makes one wonder why he wears the never-fading smirk. That sort of majority can disappear in a heartbeat, and it does not constitute a mandate.

The longer we are exposed to his hand-picked rabble the shallower the talent pool looks. Peter Dutton is still the most powerful politician in the country, a de facto Prime Minister, calling the shots and seemingly immovable, bolstered by his posse of backbench trolls, who allow Morrison to continue as PM just as long as he continues along his Trump-lite path. In any other Government Dutton’s combination of personal toxicity, insensitivity, inflammatory language, and a spectacularly simplistic world view would trigger his urgent removal from office, but in this company he is a star. Consider this little gem: He recently described the two children of the Sri Lankan couple fighting deportation, as “anchor babies”, notwithstanding the fact that Australia does not confer citizenship on the children of refugee mothers. The term is considered racist in the US, and has been used by Donald Trump, when trying to demonise immigrants.

But enough. Picking the poor performers only serves to take us down the rabbit hole of despair. Let us look forward. When trying to understand this, or indeed any Government, it is simplest to just look at what it wants to achieve in this term.

It is desperate to repeal the Medevac laws, because it does not want to send sick detainees to the mainland for treatment. It thinks they will feign sickness, and overwhelm the Australian hospital system. If the ‘overwhelming’ does not occur, there is a catastrophe B – there will be a flood of new refugees rushing to Australia, because we have hung a sign up, stating we are ‘open for business’. These new refugees will arrive, be locked up for years, tortured mentally and physically, and then they will attempt to hoodwink Mr Dutton, by over-using the Medicare system, and or having an anchor baby or two.

The next priority is to make it all right to be a Christian, and if you want to be, you can also be a Christian ‘refusenik’. A Christian refusenik is someone who refuses to bake wedding cakes for gay couples, whereas a Christian is merely one who believes in Jesus. Both categories will be catered for.

The third priority appears to be plastic. They want to ban it, especially from oceans. They are fine with global warming, because it does not exist, although they believe in the science(?), but they draw the line at plastic. They also think that children should be at school, and that any protesting should happen on Saturdays. There has been talk of banning the use of cars to travel to the protests, and also the eating of meat, because in the hands of children these products cause global warm…

Most legislative programmes are restricted to actual legislation, however there is one other priority, which involves actively NOT legislating. This is to NOT increase the Newstart allowance. Now it sits at about $40 per day, and all parliamentarians are paid seven times that amount, every day they attend work. Yes, each and every day they go to work they receive seven times the daily Newstart allowance. This steadfast position is being held to, despite much community angst, because this Government believes that you only get a go, if you have a go. There does seem to be an undercurrent of dislike towards those who are not self-sufficient, but time will confirm, or not, that feeling.

I cannot think of anything else this Government wants to do for this term. They will bang on remorselessly about national security, Dutton will fixate on paedophiles, and Morrison will try to alleviate the anxiety of children, by ignoring climate change. Lots to look forward to.

Australian Politics

Unknown Man Takes Over The Country

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Scott Morrison was originally elevated to the Prime Ministership by pretending not to be a candidate, and then by swooping in on the prize when it came down to a choice between himself, and a man almost universally loathed by the electorate. Voters were actually relieved that it was won by ‘Anyone But Dutton’ Morrison. He came through as the Steven Bradbury of the Liberal Party.

The man he ‘released’ from politics, Malcolm Turnbull, was a walking, talking ‘stuffed shirt’. He was liked, and even admired, but the more we got to know him, the more we understood that politics was a ‘vanity project’ for him; one always felt that he was pleased that he had achieved one of his life’s goals, but that it was not quite up to what he had expected. He had not listened when he was told that if one lies down with dogs, one is prone to get up with fleas.

Scott Morrison will always be remembered for that awkward moment, when he put his arm around Turnbull, and responded to a question about his own ambitions for the top job – “This is my leader and I’m ambitious for him!” As we all know, Morrison replaced Turnbull two days later. That blokey image of affectionate support can now never be excised from our collective memories.

Morrison, having achieved his own Holy Grail, then spent eight months showing us why he was particularly unsuitable for the role, with a series of gaffes, misjudgements and ‘daggy dad’ routines. These included his blundering into the foreign affairs area, with no consultation and less judgement, when he announced the decision to move our Embassy from Tel Aviv to Jerusalem. This alienated most of the Muslim world, seemingly to send a message of ‘support’ to Donald Trump.

The Government continued on its merry way, with Morrison attempting to run his own version of “outside the beltway”, where he, the ultimate insider, a former public servant and Liberal Party State President, tried to convince us that his interests were with ordinary citizens, rather than with Canberra and its internal workings.

During this time some of his political appointments were almost beyond belief. His Environment Minister, Melissa Price, was particularly hapless, once accusing an ex-president of Kiribati of merely being in Australia for the hand-outs. She did, however, manage to sign off on some important approvals before the election, such as the Adani mine.

Now that might sound strange for an Environment Minister, because she was putting all her energy into matters pertaining to mining approvals, when many of us thought she might try to alleviate the extreme concerns for vanishing wildlife, or even their habitat, or casting her eye over the Murray Darling river system, or even the Great Barrier Reef, but no, first things first. Sign off on the mines, then look to the environment. Melissa then did a vanishing act; she was invisible for the entire election period, and she was quietly replaced in the portfolio after the election, although her leader vowed she would be kept on, thanks to her sterling efforts in the portfolio.

Morrison’s Energy Minister needs no introduction. Angus the Shameless doesn’t like renewable energy, apparently because he grew up next door to a wind farm. That can scar a young chap, and no amount of climate science can lessen the pain, and allow him to do his job. Since the election he has been promoted, so that he is now responsible for Energy, and Emissions Reduction. He distinguished himself before the election by actually arguing against his own Government’s electric car policy. You can see how well suited he is to the expanded role. I do not know if he sleeps with a lump of coal beneath his pillow, but I would not be surprised.

One can only wonder what sort of thinking goes into making some of these appointments. Is it that he is sending placatory messages that if he appoints duds they won’t achieve any changes for the better, so nothing to worry about. I think that keeping the likes of Dutto and Craig Kelly quiet is the main game, but is he achieving that?

Tony Abbott was never held hostage by his extreme right rump, because he was their spiritual leader, and he was capable of out-stupiding them. Poor Mr Turnbull was terrorised by them for his entire term, and he will be remembered forever, as our first hostage-in-chief. Mr Morrison is a man who has seemingly no political goals, except to be in the big chair. So it is difficult to know where he stands. He looks and sounds like one of them, and he talks about ‘the Canberra bubble’ a lot, so maybe he really wants to govern for those ‘quiet Australians’. I just don’t know how we got to this position.

The Government since the 2019 election seems to be obsessed with very little, except for national security, pesky journalists reporting things, paedophiles in boats on the high seas, and the right of Christians to be Christians. Now I was unaware that they were under threat, but then again this is the ‘ship of fools’, who went along with the vote that it was all right to be white, so perhaps being Christian is under threat.

It is difficult to choose the next ‘nation-building’ issue that the Coalition can sink their teeth into. Perhaps they should consider sending school children to detention, if they attend climate change action marches. Perhaps they could take a long hard look at toilet blocks in schools, because some of them are using non-binary gender signs on their doors. This could lead to a national emergency, and needs attention.

Otherwise, business as usual. Poor fellow, my country!

Australian Politics

Voters of Australia – You’re Doing it all Wrong

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These days, in the dumbed – down media, there are often articles which tell the reader she has been brushing her hair wrongly, or he has been cutting the avocado incorrectly. I thought I would explain to the voters of Australia just where they got it so terribly wrong.

Most politicians seem to have had a golden moment, somewhere back in their youth, when they were driven by idealism, by a genuine desire to improve the human situation. Reading their Wikipedia entries sometimes shows something resembling a hint of gold, glinting in the quartz of their souls.

Australians have the vote. We take it for granted, but there are millions of people around the world who would sacrifice much to have that privilege. And we all know that, taken for granted or not, it comes with great responsibility, to actually make it mean something. Therein lies our inherent laziness, and a surprising naivety.

We all, wherever we live, have a responsibility to choose carefully, to consider the facts, to plumb the depths of our souls, to weigh judiciously the relative merits of the candidates, and putting aside all extraneous and superficial flights of fancy, we should try and send to Canberra the very best our electorate has on offer. It is not only doing justice to the wonder of democracy, but it includes an element of self-care, in that if we send the best to parliament, they will further our well-being, and the national interest.

This may sound onerous, but really it is not. We would probably look back on the known facts about the competing candidates, beginning with the party they represent, their history of achievement, we might look at their education, and their careers before becoming a candidate, we might look at their voting record, and even their publicly aired opinions. Lastly we might even make a choice based on their presentation, on how they speak to others, their perceived intelligence, their suitability to represent us, their willingness to put our interests first.

So although it sounds like a lot of work, this is really, to a large extent, based on instinct. We generally know if we find someone trustworthy, we make split second decisions all the time. If we take the decision seriously I always think that we will get it right, most of the time.

There are a multitude of reasons why the current Government should never have been elected. Although I generally shy away from using sporting metaphors when discussing politics, it is particularly useful when looking at this rabble.

To be successful, football teams require several A grade performers, a solid core of “better than competent” players, and the rest to be honest, hard working and committed personnel. As the quality of your list thins out, perhaps due to poor recruiting, or injuries, or the team’s age make-up, performance will inevitably suffer.

Football followers rather unkindly describe the situation when their team is struggling, as ‘running out of cattle’. Successful teams go out and find personnel to fill roles, to replace ageing warriors, to improve a function, maybe even to facilitate change, to re-set directions.

As I have bemoaned in the past, there is a growing shortage of quality ‘cattle’ going to Canberra. Consider the curious case of Scott Morrison (the captain) and Craig Kelly (past his use by date). The Liberal Party, prior to the last election, chose to superannuate the supremely un-gifted warrior to the bench, only to find the captain coming in and reversing the decision.

One can look far and wide for reasons, but it seems to be the worst choice a leader could make. Mr Kelly is a vociferous conservative, against same sex marriage, a climate science denier, a person who is against abortion in all cases, a man who would cross the floor to further his belligerent insistence on outdated beliefs.

Getting rid of Kelly was a decision which required no thought. It would send him to join Tony Abbott on the sidelines, it would allow Morrison to modernise his party at least a little bit, it would lessen the numbers in the obstinate right wing rump of the party, and it might increase the possibility of climate change action, even as Australia sinks into ignominy for its refusal to act. And it could have been achieved by not intervening, which would have left Morrison’s hands clean.

To continue the sporting metaphor, you have a captain with no clue, re-appointing a truly untalented player, to re-join a team struggling to achieve a game plan, and rejecting a younger, better player, who would not constantly ‘butcher’ the ball.

A reason commonly given for this apparent moment of madness on Morrison’s part, was to avoid embarrassing the Prime Minister. It appears to be a steep price to pay.

The country is worse off. The voters of Australia are worse off. The electorate of Hughes is again represented by a person whose only claim to fame is that he played rugby. I fear this sporting metaphor has run its course, but how in hell will we ever achieve anything with such a team of ‘poor cattle’?